📍 Now, I have a guest today. His name is Chris Abney. And he, I have a short intro for him, but I'm gonna let him introduce himself, and you'll get a better feeling of what he's about.
His bio, well, what he asked me to tell you about him, he wanted to know if, You're caught in an endless loop of I'll start tomorrow. Say hello to Chris Abdi, a seasoned procrastination coach with a knack of transforming hesitation into action. And I'm going to bring up as a simple poem, I told you this last time that my mother told me.
Procrastination is my sin. It brings me endless sorrow. I really must stop doing it. In fact, I'll stop tomorrow. Okay, Chris, take it away. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Michael, and thank you for having me on the show. Yeah, as a procrastination coach, I do feel that sometimes we don't I don't pay enough attention to it as such, but the hows and the whys really brought me back to, you know, I've always wanted to to help people in some way.
My mother was a psychiatric nurse for many years, my father had many different professions, always, you know, in that capacity of helping others, whether it was, you know, the military, or he was a paramedic for a while, and a very, very brilliant man. So I, you know, wanted to, I've always wanted to help people like that.
So we fast forward to my high school days, and I'm sure everybody can relate to this one. In my last two years of high school I had, you know, to do 12 art projects. And what happened was, well, I obviously I left them to the last minute because I didn't think art was, you know, Really that important. So I was scrambling around in my garage, you know, it was probably about 7 or 8 p.
m on the sunday before the monday morning which was going to be a full on art exam like exhibit you can actually look this up We we were in the paper, small paper, but still so there was a lot of pressure on this, right? But you know, I did it and I walked in there and let me ask you michael What do you think the result was of that?
Maybe you saw that putting things off wasn't the best idea You That's what you would think. But a series of fortunate events led me to actually The proctor was from another school, so they didn't know me. Didn't know that I just completely slacked off for the entire two years. They started talking about the art as soon as he came in.
I just shut my yap. He's like, Oh, I really love how you use these you know, unconventional materials, but you didn't go too far overboard. I love how this one seems to represent this, and I'm like, you know, you're absolutely right. And my saving grace, I think, was where he asked, you know, he said, Oh, this is very reminiscent of pathetic art.
I was like, pathetic art? I think I can work with that. And so I said, you're right. Because in today's society, you know, is not the, you know, striving for perfection and mediocrity, because everybody's doing it. And, you know, bing bang boom, I, I, you know, I pass with almost the same grade or maybe even slightly better than the guy that busted his hump for two years and had extra art lessons and all this extra help put on him.
And so it, it actually kind of gave me a minor god complex at that age, you know, it was going on in the world, oh, I'll just, you know, I'll live to the last second, I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat, it'll be fine, right? And it works like that until it doesn't. And then you know, fast forward into my adult life, and, you know, I was always striving.
Along the way I lost that dream when I was younger, so I got caught up in the, you know, rat race, almighty dollar sort of thing. You know, customer service, then I went to, you know, management, then I went to project management, business development. Then I went to, well, even at the end, you know, financial risk analysis.
But the commonality between all those things was I was always working with people, right? You know, guiding them through burnout, you know, stress, overwhelm, signs of procrastination, right? But procrastination really holds that, that part for me because of what happened to me in high school. And also I know how detrimental it can be as well because it robbed me of my last conversation with my mother, too.
You know, we knew she was dying and because it was uncomfortable for me, you know, I just put it off, always had better things to do, and put it on the calendar, and for the Monday, and depending on who you want to believe, it's still kind of a blur to me, honestly, I, I don't know the exact time anymore, but sometime between that Sunday night and the wee hours of Monday morning she passed.
So I know that it can have that detrimental effect as well. So that's really why I honed in on procrastination. Sometimes you need that kick in the pants to get you straightened out and it sounds like that was your kick in the pants. So listen, whatever the reason is, it got you moving in the right direction and I think you're a lot better for it.
But judging by what you said, by procrastinating or by not procrastinating, how would you network with other people? How do you keep networking and how, what's your, your, your commonality of networking? Right. So for networking, I never really procrastinate. Actually that's not true. That's not true. I want it to be true, but it's not true.
I'm sorry. I told a lie, a little, a little white lie. I tell them myself, I don't procrastinate on that. I'm like, well, maybe I do. So in, in one sense, you know, I, I procrastinate in another sense. I don't. So in terms of my networking, you know, my online networking, which I've always been more comfortable with, you know, I've, I don't procrastinate that at all.
Right. But I do find myself procrastinating a little bit on my networking in person. Because you know, any number, any number of reasons, the main one being convenience normally. So, you know, getting better at that one. But normally I don't procrastinate when it comes to that. Okay, so, so, what do you consider the key elements of networking?
Well, the key elements of networking are well, for me, they would be, you know, know yourself first. know how you how you connect and how you interact with people and then know how to know other people and then go out and actually start meeting people. Okay. Okay. Well, you, it sounds like you have a certain fear.
You're, you're slightly introverted and you prefer doing everything online instead of going in person. Right. Am I right so far? Yeah, you're pretty right. Okay. So how would you, or how do you overcome the fear of networking? Right. So that actual fear of the fear of networking is, is actually twofold for me.
And I'll do a little bit of a sidebar when it comes to that. The fear for me hasn't really been about before it's what we call the witch one, right? You know, that fear of being judged, you know, like, what are you doing? I mean, as a coach and being in the space now, you hear a lot of stuff, right? Like the first thing is, oh, procrastination coach, well, you know, do you want me to get over it?
do it better? Like, well, what are you doing? Right? And then you have those other little, you know, gremlins that get in there, those those doubts, right? Of people who are close to you that are supposed to be your supporters, and they might not always support you. So there's, there's multi facets to that, but the way that I get over it, I mean, I go out and do it, and the fear of being like, judged or the witch wound, I actually work on actively by You're gonna laugh about this one, but it's true.
I'm sure there's pictures of me out there on the internet doing it too. I have this little duck hat, so when I feel like I'm being judged, you know, I'll go out and, wear this duck hat with a sole purpose and it's got these little feet you squeeze it and waves so i'll just go out and wave at people all day right and like well if i can do that all day and still feel all right about it i can probably go out and tell people what i actually do all right i i can go with that i can go with that while you're, you're, you're going out and you're, you're doing this networking, whether you're doing it through your introverted ways or extrovert, sometimes I'm sure you've made mistakes.
So what is your, what was your biggest mistake and how did you overcome it? Honestly, my biggest mistake, and this is, this has been, this is a common recurring theme, actually. My biggest mistake was just not being authentic. One of the things that I learned on really early was that I was a chameleon, just because of the way that I was brought up.
So I would, you know, I would mirror people quite a bit, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Right? Yeah. And then what you know, I, yeah, I guess that's pretty much it. So that's, that's the biggest mistake is just not being yourself. So. I mean, I remember going to Las Vegas on a, on a company trip once, right?
And you know, I, I'd never been to Vegas. I, I'm not really, you know, I wasn't really a gambler. Wasn't really, you know, into the other sort of nightlife stuff. But lo and behold, when I got sitting with a bunch of guys over there, right? You know, we were talking about things. A lot of times, you know, yeah, yeah, I love that.
Let's, let's, let's, you know, let's go see that show or whatever, right? Yeah, it was, it's just, I probably could have saved myself a couple of hours of really awkward. But you know, I, I did it because I wanted to be liked by the guys. Right. Okay. Okay. But, okay. So, so give me your, your top three strategies for networking.
So you give it, you've given me everything you've done so far. Give me your, your top three strategies that you use today for networking. Right. My top three strategies for today. I'm a big fan of non marketing marketing. Okay. I, I like to say ABN, always be mark always be networking. So I'll even go out and you know, I'll do, I'll go to, you know, I'll sign up to book clubs, I'll, you know, go out to the library and just see what other people are reading, try to strike up conversations that way.
Basically anywhere there's people, I'll try to, And again, I don't do this from a perspective of trying to gain business. I just do this from perspective of trying to get to know people. But a lot of people, you know, when you're standing in line at a grocery store and someone says, oh, these lines, they never open up, you know, the two checkouts.
Yeah, you're right. They never do. Just, just silly things like that. Hey, we got five minutes. So, you know, don't you tell me about something about that, you know? Well, you know, when you, when you meet people, whether you're at a networking event or online in a department store or grocery store there's a still a mantra know you like you trust you, then they'll do business with you.
Now you could do business or just get to know you, but still, you have to go through those first stages before the trust factor. Comes in and as we said before know you that's pretty simple because you're a nice guy Everybody knows you like you that narrows the field down just a little bit but know you like you and then trust you trust is such a crucial part of Networking whether it's personal or business, but it's still a crucial part.
How would you Maintain those relationships. You told me how you get those relationships, whether they are superficial or not, but how do you maintain the relationships that you want to maintain? So the, the way that I maintain relationships that I want to maintain normally what'll happen is I have a few touch points and I always try to get you know, either virtual coffee or real coffee out of it, right?
Doesn't always work out and sometimes it falls by the wayside, but normally what it looks like is, oh, hey, you know Do you use whatsapp? Do you use, you know, telegram? Whatever it is, you know, let's Look into that. I usually find that, you know, some commonality, right? Like they have some sort of club. If they don't, Well, then I just say, you know, go the virtual, you know, coffee route or whatever.
But it doesn't always work out because I'll have to admit my follow ups aren't always as good as they should be from those interactions because they just happened out of the blue anyway. Well, you know, follow up, I profess that follow up Is just as if not more important than the initial contact.
Okay, so it's the way that you follow up. I have a secret sauce the way that I follow up with business contacts, keeping it professional. So within two weeks, I contact you in a certain way or two certain ways, and it usually gains, gets me pretty favorable results. But the follow up is key. Give me give me one tip that you would give somebody looking to improve their networking skills.
Well, obviously, my biggest one is I would just be authentic. Just be you because Eventually it's going to come out anyway that, that, you know, you're pushing something off. And when it does, then you have to rebuild the sort of trust factor, right? So like, well, I'm just saying you like sushi when you don't been there, done that multiple times.
Let's go for sushi. I hate sushi. Yeah, let's do it. I'll go and eat a California roll or something maybe, but yeah, it's, it's true. Being authentic is really the key to be present, to be yourself. All of that is part of the confidence building that you normally try to have before you even meet somebody.
So you have to first start with that confidence, confidence in yourself. If you're, if you're, excuse me, if you're not confident, then the people you're talking to usually can see that and they'll go right past you. So that's all very important. So you have the confidence building. You have the building of the trust.
All of that really comes into how you network professionally, not just Personally but with everything that you've told me so far, what's your favorite marketing tactic? Actually, this, this one, this one's something I don't really share often. And I'm wondering if I should, because you know, if I do, then people are going to understand it and they may not do it as much, but there's, there's a psychological Aspect of something, and somebody taught me this a long time ago, and it's kind of applied to dating, but I sort of, you know, mimicked it to, to to networking when I'm talking to people.
And it's, you know, you teach somebody something, and they're gonna, you know, they're gonna trust you a little more when they use that thing. Well, I sort of dumbed it down a little bit. And so let's say I'm in that grocery line again. So if I know the line's big, And this always happens to me at the grocery store anyway.
So, when I know the line's long and we've, we've had that interaction, and I'm like, and normally, you know, maybe I've got a cart, maybe I don't. Man, you know what? I've, I left the pickles in the aisle, can you watch my cart for me? Until I get back. And, you know, normally, if I've, you know, done a good job of talking to them, they say yes.
If they say yes, I've noticed that they are more likely to ask me for my contact information after without actually giving them anything That's really a good way always have the person ask you instead of you offering it up You know, it's the same way when you go to Networking events i'll use that as a whole you're always looking to give rather than receive So you're always looking to give them whatever information that they want.
And if you're authentic enough, if you're real, if you're present enough, then they'll in turn, ask you for your contact information. You know, when I was in the mortgages and I was online at a grocery store, I I'd hear a conversation behind me about mortgages, all the rates, the, the, they can't find a bright property or this or that there's some sort of a problem.
And I turn around, I give them an answer to their problem, and I turn back around. And if I presented that properly, they would say, wait a second, what about this? And that's all you're looking to do. And the same way is if you're meeting somebody and you're giving your your 30 second elevator pitch You don't give out the whole pitch you give out just enough so they ask you for the information But that's a very good good thing.
So let me bring this all the way around give me One takeaway that my listeners can use right now In terms of networking it's up to you. Give me what? Yeah. Yes. Let's keep it the network Okay. Alright. So the one takeaway that, that you can start doing today I'm gonna go back and beat it with a, like a dead horse, you know, be authentic barring that, if you can get them to, and it depends on, on how much trust you're willing to put out here, because the, the gentleman that actually, you know, put forth this idea, not mine, but he said you give them your wallet, and you let them hold it for five seconds.
And I'm like, okay, wow, that's it's a little bit more than I'm willing to go, but. We're pushing it just a little bit too much. Yeah, so, but, I mean, if you can get them to, you know, accept that tiny, tiny responsibility, it, it means that, that that you're in. And they will say, generally they'll say yes to, you know, a second coffee meeting at least, right?
Or something. Maybe a book club meeting or whatever meeting you want to go to. So, that actionable step is something they can do today. Is actually three actionable steps that are pretty easy to do. If you don't want to do that, there's still active listening. So, listen to what other people are saying.
You know, make it about them and not about you. And then that second one would be don't offer too much information. Any information unless they ask for it, which is pretty easy. You just have to shut up. Yeah, that's pretty good. As far as the listening goes, and I've, I say this across stages and workshops and everything else.
Listening is so important that when you're a hundred percent listening, you're taking away all your distractions, your cell phone, everything else, putting it all away, and you're listening to that person, you're, you're concentrating. And by listening, by not saying anything, by shutting up, you are giving that person 100 percent of your attention.
And what's more important than listening but the pause at the end. Because the pause lets the other person believe that you were listening to them and you're going to respond to what they said, not the next thing that you wanted to say. Thank you. But responding to something that they said, and that goes such a long way.
It really does. Again, building that trust and everything else. Okay, Chris. So if somebody wanted to get in touch with you about coaching, about just getting in touch with you about saying hi, whatever, how would they do it? Well, the the best ways and the easiest ways are my LinkedIn. I'm the only Chris Abdi on LinkedIn.
So you can always find me there pretty easily. Then you have my you know, my website procrastinationstation. ca or you've got just my name chrisabdy. com none of them are very well designed right now. They're just placeholders, but you can find me there That's okay. But as long as they can get hold of you that would that's great Do you have anything any last minute things you want to add?
No, I think Just want to say thank you for having me on the show and really I really enjoyed it It's great, Chris. Chris, I want to thank you again for coming out. And this is great. I'll talk to you soon.
Chris Abdey
+289-968-2639
What are 2-3 things you would love to talk about?
Procrastination - 5 Stations - "Bandaid" fixes
Please share a brief Bio to be read on the podcast.
Are you caught in the endless loop of "I'll start tomorrow"? Say hello to Chris Abdey, a seasoned procrastination coach with a knack for transforming hesitation into action.
What are 2-3 things you would like to gain as a result of being on this podcast?
Good Conversation - I'm not really looking for anything else.
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Michael is a business networking expert specializing in enhancing professionals' networking and communication skills to drive profitability. As a leading authority in this field, he is highly sought after for his dynamic presentations and workshops. His extensive experience has consistently led to significant improvements in corporate profitability by empowering individuals and organizations to connect more effectively and efficiently.
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